Wednesday, February 26, 2020

February 26th

I posted this on my social media accounts and felt like it needed to live here on my blog too...



Someone asked me recently if we celebrated Clark’s birthday, his due date, or both. And I told her, “Oh, just his birthday in October.” But this morning I woke up, browsed Timehop like I always do, and remembered that last year Mike and I were in Hawaii and snapped a pic of Clark’s cape on the lava rocks on a beach on the Big Island as the sun was coming up…because February 26th was his ‘due’ date (my 39 week c-section date). And it hit me: I guess we do celebrate a couple dates with Clark! I decided to grab his cape and snap a picture of it on his tree in the snowy morning we are having here today. Nearly 16 months without him now and I wonder each and every day who he’d be, what he’d look like, if he’d have those killer dimples his siblings all have. Kenny Chesney’s “Who You’d Be Today” has seemingly been on repeat it seems. And as I sit here nursing his little brother — a brother we’d never have gotten to meet if it wasn’t for Clark — I am forever and ever grateful for that little boy and the impact he made (and continues to make) in his short time with us. So many things have happened in the past 16 months — several massively huge life changers — and I just cannot stop crying mixed tears of joy and sadness because of them, and because of Clark. 💙 I think February 26th here on out will be Clark’s cape day…we’ll see where it adventures to in the years to come. Keep watching over us up there little guy, and we’ll keep trying to do big amazing things down here just for you. 💙🌈

And I'm adding the lyrics and video to the song that has been seemingly on repeat in my head (and always comes on the radio at the exact time I need to hear it too) lately...because this song just SCREAMS TO ME.  It reminds me of Clark -- every.single.lyric.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
I still can't believe you're gone
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today
Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
I know it might sound crazy
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today
Today, today, today
Today, today, today
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday
Someday, someday


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