Thursday, May 30, 2019
Deep posts all around today. Goodness Alex.
Clark’s tiny little urn came today…something that took me over 6 months to FINALLY sit down, pick out, and click order. Something that I had been avoiding and putting off — “I’ll do it another day” became my motto. And finally, 6 months after we had to say hello and see you later all at the same time, I sat down and ordered a place for him. A custom, one-of-a-kind, hand-thrown ceramic resting spot that is all his own. When it came it took me HOURS to open it…and then even longer to move his little ashes into it — something that in the last 7 months I haven’t been able to actually bring myself to do. I’m good at writing down my thoughts, but I’m also really good at avoiding things too. THIS SHIT IS HARD PEOPLE. So much harder than I ever could have imagined…and it’s very much that wave: sometimes tiny, sometimes massive, but never really knowing just how big that grief of loss is going to strike. And today was just a doozy. But as sad and as rattled as my emotions are, I am so glad we finally have a place for Clark that isn’t just a box from the funeral home. He’s got his own spot in our house, decorated in blue, for him to watch over us for always 💙 and if he can’t be here with us, I guess that’s the next best place for him to be.
urn from: https://www.vitrifiedstudioshop.com/