Thursday, December 20, 2018

See You Later Scooter

Today sucked.  The last 2+ months have really REALLY sucked.  2018: I cannot wait to see you go.  And fast.

The past week or so Scooter has just not been himself.  Really lethargic, sleeping way more than usual, not eating, barfing up stomach bile (since he hasn't eaten anything), very shaky and just not himself.  I said earlier this week I could not handle dealing with this right now and we'd see how he was doing after Christmas and then take him to the vet then if he was still acting like this.






Welp, Wednesday came...I snapped some pics with him which I RARELY do, and something was telling me to go get him checked out -- he was refusing all food (even his favorite fried egg yolks) and just definitely not himself.  I called his vet and we got an appointment after Rosie's dance class to take him in.


Gosh he knew it.  The faces he gave me when we walked in I just knew he sensed we weren't getting good news.


And he was right.

Our beloved vet told us that Scooter was super dehydrated, blood sugar in the 700s (SUPER high), was super nauseated because of this, had a heart murmur, and was in severe renal failure.  She didn't think in his current state he'd make it another week.  She did say we could admit him for fluids and insulin and such and that *could* help those things but she thinks his kidneys were too far gone to save...especially being around 15 years old or so.  She recommended that we put him to sleep because he was absolutely miserable (which we could definitely tell).

I knew this was coming.  I had a bad feeling for a few weeks that we were on borrowed time with Scoots and, once again, my bad feelings have come to fruition.  It.really.fucking.sucks.

I took Scoots home and talked with Mike, and we both felt like the best thing to do would be to put him to sleep Thursday morning.  I know this was a hard decision for Mike, as he probably preferred to just have him die at home, but I could not handle another 'wait and see when is he going to die' scenario...we just went through that not even 2 months ago.  So we decided the best thing for him (and us) would be to say see you later in the morning.

We decided to tell the kiddos what was happening.  And again, for the second time too soon, we were explaining to our kiddos about how they were losing a member of the family...one that they've never known a life without.  And man, that was hard. SO HARD.




Patrick took it the worst.  He was bawling his eyes out and could not stop crying.  He cried himself to sleep and couldn't stop talking about Scoots.  He grabbed his phone and snapped as many pics of him as he could "so he could always remember him."


Rosie and Annie sort of got what was going on...but I think it's going to hit them (and continue to hit Patrick too) when the realize he's not here with us anymore.  It's heartbreaking.

We all went to sleep Wednesday night -- Scooter's last night in our bed.  And I think he sensed something was coming because he slept right up next to me the entire night -- something I don't know if he has EVER done.  That made my cry and so sad...he's my first baby and I've had him longer than I've known Mike!  Gah.  Loss just sucks.

Thursday morning we got up and I wanted to take some final pics of Scoots before we took him to the vet to say see you later.  And man, that was tough.  But I am SO GLAD we did it and have these pics.

I got up early and got Scooter up (reluctantly...he didn't want to get out of bed!) and took a few pics of just him...












I really think he knew something was coming.  He just wasn't himself.  But dammit, he's so furry and photogenic...always.

I then put on my most favorite socks and went and got the kiddos up with Mike to get a quick breakfast before we snapped some quick pics.


We told the kiddos we were taking Scoots back to the doc and he probably wouldn't be coming back home with us.  They were sad but I don't think 'really' understood what was happening.









I snapped a few cuddling pics of the kiddos in our room before hustling outside and of course it was spitting raining.  How fitting it seems.  I didn't care, we went to the backyard to snap a few pics with our favorite pup.









Fortunately my mom showed up and snapped some family pics for us which was better and quicker than me doing it with my iPhone remote + timer.

I then got some pics of the kiddos...



...and then some of my parents with Scoots and the grandkids.







Mike and I then exchanged the camera to snap some pics of us loving on our favorite furry guy.












I think snapped a few pics of Scoots solo (gosh he like blends in with the ground!!) before we all had to head out to do school dropoffs.






We dropped Patrick off at school (my mom took Rosie and Annie) and then headed to the vet.  Man, this was tough.  SO TOUGH.  Since Scoots was such a little pup (only 13 pounds now...he'd lost 4.5 pounds since his last visit in June) we just got to hold him through it all.




The vet first put him under anesthesia and then to sleep.  Mike and I just held him and cried as we felt his little heart stop beating.  It was one of the hardest and saddest moments of my life.



Just like a little sleeping angel he was.  Still so warm and cuddly even after he was gone.



They gave us his collar and put him all curled up in a box -- doesn't he look like he's just sleeping?!? How many pictures over the year have I shared of him looking exactly like that??!?!  He looks so peaceful -- and we know he is now...in no more pain and dancing over the rainbow bridge into Clark's arms.

We elected to bring him home and bury him in the backyard.  And even in the rain Mike went out and dug a hole in the most perfect spot and we laid our fur baby to rest for the very last time.


Mike and I both hugged each other and cried -- this was our dog...he'd been with us from the beginning and now he was gone.  Another shit notch on 2018's reputation.

We said our see you laters, told him to go run and find Clark ASAP and give Goose a big wet kiss that she's hoot and holler and recoil from that they can giggle at...and watch over us always.

Man, what a tough freaking last 24 hours it's been.  And truly, what a horrible HORRIBLE past 2 months too.  2018 started off so promising but has really gone down the shitter these past 2 months.  I am hoping and praying for amazingly awesome positive and uplifting things to happen in 2019.


I will say we have amazing friends...before we even got home these showed up on our front porch...gosh, they are the best.  They have been such a bright light for us in such a shitty time.

I went ahead and announced on social media (and Scooter's pages too) about his passing...and the outpouring of love and support has been amazing once again.  I feel like this community of ours has seen far too much loss coming from us this fall...and yet they've stood behind us and offered us the best love and support they could.  And I am forever and ever grateful for all of them.


The vet did a paw print of Scoots (which I'm so glad she did cause I totally forgot to do that...along with take any videos this morning too. dang nabit.) and I need to figure out how to make it something permanent.


And ironically the little frames I ordered to put Clark's hand and footprints in arrived today so I went ahead and made Scooter and Clark frame ornaments.

His besties down at KSDK did a lovely tribute to him on the evening news tonight too...gosh, what an amazing pup he was.


Scoots, golly, we miss you SO MUCH buddy and it's barely been 6 hours.  I've already found myself trying to be quiet opening food so you don't steal it, reminding Annie to keep her cookies on the table so Scooter doesn't snatch it, and coming in the house and immediately calling for him to go outside to pee.  Gosh.  All of these are daily habits yet painful reminders that he isn't here with us anymore.  I'm sure they'll fade over time but his memory will still burn strong within us.  Rosie pointed to my heart before her nap and said "Scooter lives there now with Clark." and I lost it.  Yes he does Ro, yes he does.  And his memory and all that that amazingly tolerant and wonderful dog put up with will live on in us forever and ever.   We love you so much Scooter...keep watching over us from above.  And be the best furbrother to Clark.

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