Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Alex's Top 10 Reasons To Wait {to find out baby's gender}


About a year and a half ago I wrote this post all about why we waited to find out the genders of #1 (Patrick) and #2 (Rosie).  And now we're less than 2 months away from welcoming #3 into our family I thought I'd revisit this topic for a few 'updated' reasons to my last post.  Some are the same (so you get a refresher on some of our reasons to wait!) and some are brand spankin' new just for your reading pleasure today.

I love lists, and top 10 lists are even better, so I decided to craft this post as:


Alex's Top 10 Reasons to Wait {to find out baby's gender}


10. Speculating is SO.MUCH.FUN.
Some would argue the opposite, that speculating on your kid's gender is not fun and they JUST WANT TO KNOW.  Me, on the other hand, I love it.  And I go back and forth back and forth usually multiple times during my pregnancy, especially when it comes to any old wives' tales (heck, I love blogging about my speculation with these too!), as to what this kid is.  I'll swear high and low one day it's a girl, then change my tune the next day when something makes me think blue.  The unknown and teeter-tottering back and forth with that keeps me going most days when I've just completely run out of gas.


9. It irritates the living daylights outta people.
This is hands-down one of my favorite reasons to wait: it annoys people to no end when they find out we're waiting.  The comments I get from people crack me up about "Gosh, it'd be so much easier if we just knew what you were having!!!!"  And "Well I'm not getting you a gift then because I need to know if it's a boy or girl."  To me, this cracks me up: it's not THEIR baby yet they are so agitated that we (gasp!) wouldn't find out the sex of ours when we had the opportunity to.  How are we going to possibly plan for his/her arrival if we don't know if it's a he or she?!!  I'll tell you how: the same way you plan for already knowing if your baby is a boy or girl.  Babies, regardless of their gender, need the same things when they're born, and I think we're well equipped to handle that regardless of pinks or blues.


8. Waiting is never ever wrong.
I cannot tell you how many stories I've read online (and even from some friends!) who were told their baby was going to be a girl and then BAM.  A month or two later at a follow-up ultrasound they find out boy.  OR, even worse, they find out AT BIRTH that the gender they were told 20+ weeks ago was really wrong and they now have the opposite of what they were planning for...and a pink nursery and wardrobe of frilly lacy clothes for a boy.  Oops.  I know you can even find out super early -- like at 10 weeks -- what gender your baby is by a DNA test...but guess what!  Those can be wrong too if the test gets screwed up or faulty and they don't catch their error.  No.thank.you.  This is another huge reason why we wait: I just don't know if I could ever fully trust a blood test or ultrasound -- I'd always be skeptical that something went askew and it was actually the opposite of what we were told.  If you wait until birth to find out the gender: guess what!  Babe is here and there's no way for them to be wrong.  Ever.


7. You are way more prepared. 
I KNOW some would argue that knowing everything about your unborn baby that you possibly can before his/her arrival makes you more prepared, but, alas, I disagree.  For all 3 of our kiddos I was way more prepared for their arrival because I was focused on KEEPING THE BABY ALIVE and not making sure I had enough hair bows or mini bow ties for this kid's debut.  I was prepared to keep this baby alive because I was focused on how I was going to feed him/her, where he/she was going to sleep, how I was going to take care of myself in my recovery so I could continue to keep this new baby thrivin', and so forth.  Yes, they had outfits and what not ready to go, but I didn't care about that, I cared about the logistics and making sure my ducks were in a row that I could be the best mama out there to this new baby -- regardless of his/her gender -- and not hung up on the pink or blue color scheme.  Those could and would come later after this kid got here -- my focus pre-birth was making sure this kid was equipped (and heck, making sure I was too!) for life on the outside.

6. Most gender comments go buh-bye.
I say most because some just NEVER EVER seem to go away regardless of your situation (I can't roll my eyes enough at that, and people really need to read my things not to say to a pregnant lady post).  Anyways, when you don't find out team pink or blue, people's comments usually stop there.  They may ask if you're wanting a particular gender (especially if you already have one or more kids), but even those seem far and few between.  With #3 on the way I get mostly "Oooooh!  A tiebreaker!" comments -- which, duh, it is.  Hardly anyone ever asks us what are names are (spoiler: we still don't know.  This is a constant ongoing conversation nearly daily for us.  Names are hard people!) and the conversation just pitters out once they find out we don't know what we're having.  It's kinda nice. 


5. You get actual usable stuff.
Obviously for #3 we have ALL of the stuff we could possibly need for this kid, but when I was pregnant with Patrick and was having a boatload of showers and we didn't know the gender, HOLY BABY STUFF.  I think we got a handful of animal outfits and that.was.it.  The rest of the stuff were things we actually wanted from our registry and not 10000 outfits that were never going to be worn anyways because my kids grow exponentially fast and never fit into things for more than a month or two.  We had a "Squishy Tushy" party for #2 to get some more cloth diapers and the same held true for getting STUFF instead of girly or boyish things.  I'm totally guilty of buying clothes for baby showers instead of stuff when the couple knows what they're going to have -- you know why?!  It's SO EASY.  So easy to order that pink flamingo outfit online or grab that cute little faux tuxedo onesie at Target when they know the gender.  When I go to a baby shower for someone that is team green and doesn't know what they're having, they get way better gifts from me cause I actually look at their registry and get them stuff they want.


4. "It's a..." delivery room moment is one of the best moments of your life.
Two of my favorite life moments are when Mike got to announce in the OR "It's a boy!"  and "It's a girl!"  I'm not a crier. at. all.  I cried like a freaking baby when he made these announcements in the delivery room.  It was the sweetest sound ever coupled with that babe's screams and it is something I look forward to during every pregnancy.  It's what this whole 9 months has been building up to -- finding out that this little human is a little miss or mister.  Seriously, best moment ever.


3. You will NEVER be disappointed.
A lot of people talk about and experience gender disappointment.  I get it -- you have 2 boys are are desperate for that girl, only to find out at your 20 week ultrasound that it's another boy.  You are disappointed that this kid is not the little girl you were wanting.  Sure, you'll love having 3 boys and will love this kid no matter what, but you're disappointed and this kid isn't even here.  I see it ALL of the time online, and I feel for these people.  However, if you wait until delivery day to find out the gender, even if you have a flock of girls at home and are wanting that boy, and it turns out it's another girl -- you will not be disappointed.  I promise.  There's some magic in the delivery room about a baby being born that overwhelms you and you don't care at.all. what that babe is just as long as she's here and screaming and happy.  Kinda goes back to the magic of #4 with the "it's a..." announcement -- how can you be disappointed or upset when you have that beautiful screaming baby in your arms?!  I sooooo wanted a boy for #2 and the instant Rosie was here and we were telling our families "it's a girl!" that went completely out the window and I was so excited to have a little lady!


2. Anticipation gets you through pretty much anything.
I talked about how much I enjoy speculating on babe's gender, and this is coupled with anticipation.  As delivery day draws closer, the anticipation of finding out what your little one is keeps you going.  Through any ups and downs in your pregnancy, there's still that one exciting part you are clasping to that'll be an exciting reveal during your delivery.  I literally cannot sleep the night before my c-section because it's like I'm a kid on Christmas -- I am SO EXCITED and so anxious about finding out if this little one is a boy or girl.  The anticipation of their arrival really gets me through anything and gives me something to focus on (and speculate on!) until their birth day arrives.  And for our older kiddos, it's something for them to anticipate and get excited about as well -- they are itching to find out if it's a boy or girl as much as we are, which in turn makes them seemingly way more interested in my pregnancy!


1. BEST.SURPRISE.EVER.
This is pretty obvious as my number one reason for waiting, but this is hands-down the best surprise EVER.  Getting engaged was awesome and a total surprise, but really NOTHING compared to finding out if I was having a son or daughter.  Nothing in the world compares to that surprise -- it really is nature's ultimate gift, and as much of a planner as I am, I will always cherish this surprise and never find out because it's just too much of the ultimate life present that, in my opinion, can never be topped.  And it's pretty freaking exciting to be able to annouce the gender and baby's arrival to our friends and family (many of them who have been anxiously awaiting the blue or pink news for MONTHS! haha!) as well.

--
Ahhhhh, so that about sums up my top 10 reasons for waiting to find out your babe's gender (or heck, genders if you're having multiples!  I always have told Mike if we ever found out there was more than one burrito cookin' in the oven we'd still wait to find out!  Makes all of the reasons on that list double the excitement!).  Obviously to each their own; some people are not waiters and need to find out ASAP and that's totally fine: you do you.  And I'm sure these people would argue they have their own handy dandy little top 10 list of WHY YOU SHOULD find out the gender...and that's fine!  But for us though (and anyone maybeeeee leaning towards being surprised) these are the reasons why we wait.

And now that I've got you in baby mode, I've linked below the kiddos birth stories if you want a good  birth read today too...with the excitement tossed in there about finding out after 9+ months if it was a little dude or lady cookin' away in there :)

Patrick's Birth Story                     Rosie's Birth Story

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