Sunday, August 28, 2016

Patrick Tales | 07

It has been a while since my last edition of Patrick Tales, so I figured now would be as good of a time as ever to hatch some out.  I know there's about a billion more tales that I've found hilarious that I'm forgetting, but, alas, here's the list I've got.  Try to chuckle along with me...or not, maybe it's just my mom goggles and these are only funny to me.


Patrick: mom I’m gonna pump milk when I get big.
Me: WHAT?!!
Patrick: when I big, I pump milk like you!
Me: no buddy, you can’t pump milk.
Patrick: ohhhhh, when I big I can though!
Me: no, only girls can pump milk.
Patrick: ohhhh…but I want to pump milk!!! 


Patrick: I see dead people.
Me: {gasp} what?!!
Patrick: I see dead people.
Me: where?!!
Patrick: in boxes.


Patrick: {with blanket over his head} I a ghost!
Me: where do ghosts live?
Patrick: in people's houses.


Me: Patrick! Look! Grant's Farm! Do you see any animals?!!
Patrick: No.
Me: Not even any squirrels?
Patrick: No.
Me: I ran over a squirrel on my way to work this morning. It was an accident.
Patrick: my daddy, who's a police officer, can help you with your accidents.


Patrick: what time is it and what’s the temperature out?
Me: it’s 11:15 and its about 85 degrees out.
Patrick: Oh. Then it’s time for cookies.


Me: I love you so much Patrick.
Patrick: thank you mommy.
Me: don’t you love me too?
Patrick: I just thanking you for loving me right now.


Me: How was your day at school buddy?
Patrick: Good.
Me: What'd you have for lunch?
Patrick: Grapes and water.
Me: Really?  Your teacher said you had meatloaf!
Patrick: NO! I had grapes and water.  And I fell asleep under the table.


Me: What do you want to be for Halloween buddy?
Patrick: A ghost!
Me: Why a ghost?
Patrick: Cause they live in houses and so do I.


Patrick: {after seeing Papermate Gel Pens commercial} Mommy, you want some gel pens?
Me: No buddy, I don't need any gel pens.  Do you want some?
Patrick: Nope. I can't write.

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